Category: Humor

Tax-Time Misery
1

Tax-Time Misery

by

When I came to, I was on my back on the floor of my accountant’s office. “What happened?” I said. “When I told you how much you owe, you went down like ton of bricks,” said my accountant. “I owe the IRS again? But I set aside money every quarter!” “How many times do I […]

Lamenting Loss of Family-Owned Grocery
0

Lamenting Loss of Family-Owned Grocery

by

The old grocery store in my neighborhood is closing next month. Boy, does that make me sad. The family-owned store has been a staple in our community for more than 50 years. Its simple, spartan interior is a snapshot into the past, the way grocery stores were in the ’60s and ’70s — like the […]

D.C. Snow's Silver Lining
1

D.C. Snow’s Silver Lining

by

I admit it: I love the snow and the cold. I love to be outside, gazing up at the stars on cold, crisp evenings. I love how the snow blankets my hillsides. And most of all, I love how snow disrupts daily life — particularly in Washington, D.C. I lived in Washington for nearly eight […]

Food Intervention, Government Style
1

Food Intervention, Government Style

by

“All right, tubby, if you aren’t going to stop sitting in front of the TV, eating fatty and sugary treats, maybe the government should force you to change your ways.” “Force me to change my ways? But I know what foods do and don’t make me tubby. I choose to live this way.” “Yeah, and […]

Overreaching in Plain English
2

Overreaching in Plain English

by

Get this: The federal government is trying to explain things to citizens in plain English. In 2010, you see, President Obama signed the Plain Writing Act into law. It requires that all federal agencies use “clear government communication that the public can understand and use.” In 2011, Obama took the plain-language initiative a step further. […]

Awaiting Our Next George Washington
0

Awaiting Our Next George Washington

by

“Boy, here’s something we could use more of today: unity among the American people. Americans are so divided.” “Maybe so, but we’ve been divided worse before.” “We were?” “Watch the History Channel series ‘Sons of Liberty.’ It dramatizes the heated arguments that took place among Colonial leaders, who had a lot to lose by declaring […]

Why Unemployed Men Don’t Do Housework
3

Why Unemployed Men Don’t Do Housework

by

Women have long been annoyed that they do more housework than men, as demonstrated by many studies, but now they are really steamed. Last December, The New York Times reported on a regrettable trend. The number of men between the ages of 25 and 54 who are unemployed is at all-time high: 16 of every […]

For Groundhog's Day -- An Interview with Punxsutawney Phil
1

For Groundhog’s Day — An Interview with Punxsutawney Phil

by

Every Feb. 2, Punxsutawney Phil, a groundhog, is pulled from a tree stump in Punxsutawney, PA. If he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t, spring is just ahead. In a 2010 interview, I asked Phil about a request made by the People for the Ethical Treatment of […]

A Slippery Slope
1

A Slippery Slope

by

Ah, winter has arrived in all its glory, which means one thing: more sledding bans! According to The Associated Press, Dubuque, Iowa, has banned sledding at 48 of its 50 municipal parks. The reason: costly lawsuits. In one case, a 5-year-old girl in Omaha, Neb., hit a tree while sledding and became paralyzed. In another […]

Praying for a White Christmas
0

Praying for a White Christmas

by

The snow started coming down hard a few hours after we’d arrived. It was Christmas Eve 1976. We were 20 miles from home, visiting my mother’s sister at her home in the country. Earlier that evening, my mother, father, grandmother and sisters had piled into the station wagon to begin our trek. I was 14 […]

"What's on Fire?!" An Advent Tale or Two
1

“What’s on Fire?!” An Advent Tale or Two

by

Dutifully, Catholics go on the hunt each year for the highly coveted, purple and pink candle ensemble vital to any serious Advent wreath. I’m eighty-seven percent sure that I buy a replacement set after Christmas in anticipation of the following liturgical season. I proudly congratulate myself for thinking ahead, taking advantage of the sale price, […]

A Charlie Brown Christmas Miracle
1

A Charlie Brown Christmas Miracle

by

It’s amazing that the show was nearly not broadcast. I speak of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” — a show that, for reasons I don’t understand, holds more power over me with every passing year. The show has a very simple premise: Too much commercialization can take the meaning out of Christmas. As it goes, Charlie […]

Up in Smoke
0

Up in Smoke

by

Up in Smoke I admit it: I feel sorry for cigarette and cigar smokers these days. But changing fashions and the results of the recent election may offer them hope. Cigarette smoking used to be fashionable. Actors like Steve McQueen and Sean Connery made it look manly and cool in their many movies. Women who […]

A 1970s Halloween
2

A 1970s Halloween

by

Not until it got dark! That was the trick-or-treating rule my mother set down every year. She didn’t want me to embarrass her by interrupting families still having dinner. I hated the rule. Tommy Gillen and I had big plans to hit as many houses as possible before we had to come home. It was […]

Exploiting the American Prom
0

Exploiting the American Prom

by

Proms sure have gotten expensive these days. According to the San Jose Mercury News, high school kids spend nearly $4 billion annually for dresses, accessories, flowers, beauty products, limos and other prom-related items. The average couple spends upward of $1,000 for the one-time event. That got me thinking about my own prom in 1980. I […]

Privacy? Surely You Jest!
1

Privacy? Surely You Jest!

by

Ring. Ring. “Hello, this is Tom.” “We know who you are, Tom. In the digital age, you will be shocked by what we know about you.” “Who is this? The National Security Agency? I thought President Obama issued orders to rein you in!” “That’s a good one, Tom. Obama told the NSA to stop storing […]

Weekly Wits: 1/23/14
0

Weekly Wits: 1/23/14

by

                           www.veritatisthecartoon.blogspot.com

The Key to New Year’s Resolutions
0

The Key to New Year’s Resolutions

by

There’s a reason why only 8 percent of New Year’s resolutions are kept: Too many of us make resolutions that lack resolve. “Resolve” is a powerful world. According to one dictionary, it means “to solve a problem, or to find a satisfactory way of dealing with a disagreement.” Bill Gates elaborated on the concept in […]

Satirical Halloween Costumes
0

Satirical Halloween Costumes

by

“The wife and I came up with so many Halloween costume ideas this year to satirize Washington politicians, but we aren’t sure which to choose.” “You speak of a relatively recent trend in which adults pick or create Halloween costumes that mock or satirize current events and popular culture. Robert Thompson, a pop-culture expert and […]

Weekly Wits
0

Weekly Wits: 10/18/13

by

                   www.jasonbachcartoons.com     fb.com/JasonBachCartoons

Why Duck Dynasty Viewers Flock
0

Why Duck Dynasty Viewers Flock

by

Like millions of Americans, I’ve become a “Duck Dynasty” fan. “Duck Dynasty,” as you surely are aware, is an A&E reality show that presents the Robertson clan, the long-bearded owners and operators of Duck Commander in West Monroe, La. Duck Commander hand-makes duck calls. The story is a rags-to-riches one. Phil Robertson, the patriarch of […]

It’s (No Longer) a Jeep Thing
0

It’s (No Longer) a Jeep Thing

by

I became upset when I got word. Jeep, reports Automotive News, is shifting its focus away from hearty off-road 4X4’s to, mostly, dinky little two-wheel-drive cars that ride smoothly on paved roads — the kind of cars Europeans like to drive. This is what happens when an iconic American brand is sold to a European […]

"Thank goodness our government hasn't taken over any pencil companies yet."
0

“Thank goodness our government hasn’t taken over any pencil companies yet.”

by

A Pencil’s Point Now is a good time to revisit the 1958 essay in which Leonard Read examined how a pencil is made — and how it is miraculous that a pencil is made at all. The standard pencil begins when a cedar is cut down. Ropes and gear tug it onto the bed of […]

Weekly Wits: 9/6/13
0

Weekly Wits: 9/6/13

by

             meandfolly.blogspot.com Like Us On Facebook FollowMeOnTwitter

Page 1 of 612345...Last »