6

Why a Child is a Good Idea

Today, in “Annie’s Mailbox” newspaper column, a woman who admitted having no desire for children wrote: “Babies are messy, leaky, smelly and noisy, as well as demanding and expensive.”

The woman is accurate. It is not logical to have a child. A baby will drain your bank account and rob you of sleep.  It will be twenty or more years before he begins to truly appreciate all you do for him.  He will fight your authority and push the limits. Your lights will be left in the “on” position, long after he has has left the room. Then, there’s all the mess and the stress. Yes, life will never be the same if you have a child.

The reasons to have a child defy logic because love is not logical.  Having a child will gently nudge you closer to God from the start as you gaze into newborn eyes and marvel at the miracle of life.   As the miracle unfolds you will become intensely aware of how fragile life is; one bad fall, an illness without a cure, a lapsed moment of care … so many ways, so much responsibility.

But love is not logical and a child grows love in your heart. Thus, your heart grows less logical and more spiritual. Through your child, you feel your own helplessness since you cannot guarantee that the world will always go round.  Instead, you watch your baby and feel your own dependence on God. As your child grows and sometimes chooses defiance, you remember so many times you thought you knew better.  And then, you begin to understand how God could still love you in spite of your childishness.

A child forces you to die to self and live in a bigger world of giving and caring.  There are easier ways but not better ones because through a child, giving becomes less of a task and more a desire.

Children will stretch you to your limits and push you on your knees to depend on God and reach for eternity. For a child, you care more about getting your own soul in order to better lead him to higher ground.

It is true that you will not simply wake up better one day just because you are a parent. But you will always want to be better because you are a parent. And if your “wants” fuel your ambition, then you will strive harder for heaven. Ultimately it is the best you can want for your child and your children are the only things you can take with you.

Yes, you know people who have not experienced life and God on a deeper level after the birth of their children, but it is understood that such people are wounded. It is not the way it was meant to be.

So amid all the struggles and insecurities, amid strife and fear, the love of your child will draw you closer to God. Sometimes you will be reaching and other times you will be pushed, but your sights will be set on heaven.  And that is why a child is such a good idea.

 


Patti Maguire Armstrong and her husband have ten children. She is an award-winning author and was managing editor and co-author of Ascension Press’s Amazing Grace Series. Her newest books are: Big Hearted: Inspiring Stories from Everyday Families, a collection of stories to inspire family love, and Dear God, I Don't Get It and the sequel, Dear God, You Can't Be Serious, children's fiction that feeds the soul through a fun and exciting story. FacebookFamily website. Her blogTwitter. Read more: http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/author/patti-maguire-armstrong#ixzz2x8GW9PlN


Filed under:
  • For most having another child may make no sense. Good thing I am out of my mind then….

  • Tarheel

    Children are a gift from God. And it doesn’t matter if they are your natural child or your adopted child.

    I say this with complete honesty as my wife and I have an adopted son and a natural son. Our oldest son is adopted. And he is a wonderful gift. Not bragging that he is perfect or anything like that. But he has brought so much into our lives. He has made me want to be a better dad and husband. As a CCD teacher he helped me understand how to teach our faith to people of his own age. Yes, he was one of my first students.

    Our oldest will soon be 25. And when I think back on our life together I smile. I wish I could truly put into words just how much an adopted child enriches your life. For those of you out there that may read this and are thinking about having a child or can’t, THINK ADOPTION!

  • We feel the same way about the two boys we took in from Kenya. They have been such a blessing in our lives. So many miss the value of children. I’m not saying they are easy but they are certainly vehicles to holiness. And who cannot benefit from that?

  • Tarheel

    I’m guilty of forgetting that my oldest son is adopted. This has proved embarrassing more than once at doctor’s offices and other public venues. I’m a little over 6 feet tall and white and he is 5 foot 4 and Asian. Some people just can’t see the family resemblance I guess. But we laugh about it and we tell everyone I’m the adopted one.

  • I love it! How beautiful that you forget sometimes and also that YOU are the one adopted. Ain’t it the truth. We have two from Kenya who “adopted” us.

  • Tarheel

    I have told numerous families that adoption is “hidden” blessing. I also have talked to prospective fathers that have concerns about adopting a boy to be their son. One actually said “he ain’t from me, so how can he carry on the family name?” To that I say “bunk”. I am extremely proud that my oldest son “carries” on our family name.

    So to all the prospective adoptive dad’s out there that have worries or concerns about the “family” name, don’t worry. Go ahead and adopt that boy. It won;t be long before you will be pumping your fist in the air, pounding your chest, clapping your hands, and telling everyone within earshot….”That’s my boy!”