Living Together . . . Why It is Not a Good Thing

Even if you aren’t a Christian, even if you are an atheist, living together is NOT a good idea.  Yeah, everybody is doing it now. It’s the norm.  Who needs to get married when you have people ready and willing to move in with you?  But, here’s why it’s not a good situation.

First of all, we live in a society of me, me, me. . .I have a right to do whatever I want, and as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, I can do it.  Besides, nothing is right or wrong anymore . . . I don’t have to be accountable for my own personal actions, unless I get caught. Me, me, me, there is no longer a “We”  or “Us”, just “Me, Myself, and I.”

When a couple decides to “move in” together, without a vow, they are saying, “I’m not committing myself to you for the long haul, just as long as the sex is plentiful and the relationship fun.  . . .then, I’m going.”  I’m me, me, me, you see?  There is no long-term goal here, no promise to take care of the other when sick, poor, and at his or her worse state of life. . .just as long as it’s easy, fun, and the sex is good.  That is why people move-in together. They don’t love the other person enough to make that BIG WHOPPING VOW that makes you more than just a sex object to hang with for awhile.

When a couple gets formally married, they make a vow to each other.  The vow is for “better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”  This means that the couple is vowing to the other, not to themselves . . .It is a “you,” not a “me” situation.  They are promising to take care of each other, be patient and loving to the other, stick with the other for all, and under all, circumstances.

As a person, no matter your belief system, we all need comfort, security, and love.  This is not a matter of religious values, it is a matter of basic needs. We need to drive this into these young people’s minds, we need to not be supportive of this kind of living arrangement, and explain to them that they are worth so much more than a selfish situation. They are worth a solid life of consideration and love and devotion higher than the superficial.

A Master Catechist,  Ebeth Weidner is the wife of a scientist and mom to 3 wonderful young people.  She is the author of “A Catholic Mom climbing the Pillars” blog and a contributor to CatholicMom.com, Catholic Lane, and the new blog:  Association of Catholic Women Bloggers.  Ebeth shares her journey with others as she climbs the pillars of truth in the Catholic Church.