This agitprop is so bad I thought it was political satire. It didn’t seem possible that anyone would seriously expect American voters to be swayed by a song filled with lyrics that lament the unemployment of Big Bird, warn of dead polar bears and threaten a guilt trip for moms and dads if they don’t pull the lever for Barack Obama on Tuesday.
No, despite the fact that the lyricist, advertising executive Jeff Goodby, was a member of the Harvard Lampoon while a college student, the “Future Children” song — while worthy of a segment on the “Colbert Report” — is, in fact, meant to be a sober glimpse into the minds and hearts of the next generation.
Some context: Mr. Goodby, along with his partner Rich Silverstein, co-chairmen of San Francisco- and Detroit-based Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, were asked to contribute to a project called “90 Days, 90 Reasons,” in which artists, writers, “creatives” and hipsters offer justification and motivation to re-elect the president.
As you can imagine, reason No. 1 is that Mr. Obama is the first president to support gay marriage. Hipsters have their priorities.
Mr. Goodby and Mr. Silverstein, famous for “Got Milk?” and the Budweiser lizards, to name two of their most successful campaigns, did not simply contribute a quote or an essay, as others did. Mr. Goodby instead was inspired to write song lyrics such as these:
Imagine an America
Where strip mines are fun and free
Where gays can be fixed
And sick people just die
And oil fills the sea
We don’t have to pay for freeways!
Our schools are good enough
Give us endless wars
On foreign shores
And lots of Chinese stuff
And the chorus:
We’re the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And we’re kinda blaming you
“Blaming you” refers to you, Mom and Dad, if you heartlessly cast your vote for Mitt Romney.
Never mind that it’s one of those songs in which the lyrics don’t fit the phrasing, so the singers trip over themselves to get several syllables onto a single note. Maybe Mr. Goodby didn’t focus much on iambic pentameter back at Harvard.
And forget about the simplistic tune of this singsong piece, which makes a commercial jingle sound like the opening movement from “Carmina Burana.” Songwriter David Michael Ruddy probably was in a hurry.
What’s important is that the “future children” song reveals the incredibly immature and emotional thinking of those on the political left. There are no broad ideas conveyed. No references to the tenets of our system of government — things like freedom and liberty, the pursuit of one’s destiny, or even a love of country that might inspire a voter one way or another.
Instead, it’s liberal fear-mongering set to an irritating tune. To wit:
Find a park that is still open
And take a breath of poison air
They foreclosed your place
To build a weapon in space
But you can write off your au pair
It’s a little awkward to tell you
But you left us holding the bag
When we look around
The place is all dumbed down
And the long term’s kind of a drag
See it for yourself at www.futurechildrenproject.com .
Just don’t sip your coffee before it starts or you may snarf it out again, and the dang tune may get stuck in your head, but this Obama anthem is good for a laugh, that’s for sure.
With less than a week to go until Election Day, who couldn’t use a giggle?