I’m entering a new phase of my life. You know the new phase. The one I’ve been holding off as best I could for as long as I could. The one that includes gigabytes, apps, meta pixels, and data plans.
I ordered a smartphone. No, seriously. I did. I ordered a smart phone. For myself. And I was wide awake and sober when I did it.
Some years back, I went into the cell phone realm kicking and screaming. I did not in any way want to be chained to technology, I defiantly declared. When I was away, I wanted to be a-way, get it? No cellular telephone for me. I was above all that nonsense.
But as life started to change and my kids starting getting older, I began to see how useful a cell phone could be. So I got one.
That was seven years ago. In that time, I upgraded. Once. To another “dumb” phone. My dummy and I have been very happy with each other, all in all. Texting and phone calling was plenty for me. I didn’t need all the bells and whistles and, by golly, I didn’t need to have my face glued to a little screen 24/7. Nope, not me. I was above all that nonsense.
I made a pact with my dumb phone, “You and me forever, Baby.”
I didn’t miss the “smart” of a smart phone because I work out of my home and have everything I need at hand. When I do travel, my dumb phone and laptop have been quite sufficient. We’ve worked well as a team, really well.
Then I got an email from the Israel Ministry of Tourism notifying me that I’d been chosen to go with the Catholic Press Association on the IMOt-sponsored trip to Israel May 18-28, 2014 as part of Pope Francis’ visit there. The only “catch” is that it would be a working trip, meaning I’d be expected to report on the happenings over there. So, I got me some interested media outlets, which included a couple of radio stations. Then reality hit. In order to do that, I’d need a bit more sophistication in the technology department.
I looked at my dumb phone. It looked at me. I took a deep breath and let out a slow, long sigh.
“It ain’t you and me no more, Baby,” I said, pinching out a tear. “It’s been swell, but you’re just not enough for me any longer. It’s time for me to move on.”
It just looked at me, blankly, and didn’t say a word.
Next thing I know, I’m scanning descriptions, weighing features, jostling data plans, and pushing the “Submit Order” button on my wireless carrier’s website. Ah, life can be so cold and harsh sometimes. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. It’s time to enter a new phase of my life – modern technology.
My Nokia Lumina 925 should be arriving in a week or so. Once I have it, I suppose I’ll have to retire my dumb phone with dignity. He’ll probably never speak to me again, but that’s a risk I’ll have to take.